Harry and Draco's wonderful world
by Lady Malfoy II
Summary: A truly bizarre piece about Harry and Draco's relationship (making it slash). It's probably been done before, but what the hey, I like it.


Harry and Draco's wonderful world.  
  
A/N: A very silly fic that includes nearly every Harry and Draco cliché in the book. It has been done before, I know, but I'm in a very odd mood at the moment. Pre-exam result nerves!  
  
  
Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy were walking down a corridor, totally ignoring each other as usual. Suddenly, they found themselves in an empty classroom, and it was the middle of the night.  
  
"Potter," Draco snapped. "Why are we here?"  
  
"How the hell should I know, Draco," Harry started. Since when had Draco been Draco?  
  
It was only when Draco replied, "Since my birth," that Harry realised he'd spoken aloud.  
  
All of a sudden, Harry knew that he didn't hate Draco at all. In fact, he never had. He loved him.  
  
"I love you, Draco."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I said your first name. That symbolises my changing feelings for you, so now I have to love you." Harry said, matter-of-factly.  
  
"But five minutes ago, you hated me." Draco was feeling confused.  
  
"Don't you understand? Our past hate doesn't matter. We're in love now."  
  
"I don't know..." Draco sounded doubtful, sure Harry was the most gorgeous boy in school, he no longer wore glasses and after his growth spurt last week was nine foot tall, but something just didn't seem right.  
  
Dumbledore walked into the room. "Boys, you are in love." He said.  
  
"But why, Professor?" Harry asked the man he'd come to see as a grandfather of sorts. "I don't understand, Grampy!"  
  
"It is simple, young one. You and Draco are in love so you can kill Voldemort," Draco fainted at hearing the name. "He is planning an attack on the school. I have known for three years, he will be here shortly. I must leave, however. I am late for tea and crumpets with Minerva, and then I shall be called away to the ministry, just when you need me most. May the force be with you!"  
  
Sure enough, upon Dumbledore's departure, Voldemort burst into the room. Harry quickly cast an ancient charm that had just that second entered his head, and Voldemort died in a burst of green light. His dusty remains disappeared.  
  
"Harry!" Draco cried. "I really DO love you. I've just figured it out! My hate was simply a mask for the love I truly felt inside!"  
  
"Draco, I love you. Now, lets got back to my dorm to sleep."  
  
Upon arriving in the Gryffindor common room, Draco exclaimed on the lovely décor.  
  
"Oh look! The dorm is conveniently empty! Ron and Hermione must be off in the library, Neville is with Ginny and Dean and Seamus are humping like bunny rabbits on the Quidditch pitch, because no one will find them there!"  
  
"Harry," Draco breathed. "That means we are all alone."  
  
"Yes it does," Harry agreed.  
  
"So shall we go to sleep?"  
  
"Yes. Falling in love and killing a Dark Lord sure takes it out of a boy!"  
  
Harry and Draco both flopped onto the same bed, even though there were four other beds that were totally empty. After about ten minutes, Harry turned to face his true love.  
  
"Draco, your hair is like silver!" he exclaimed.  
  
"I know! I went to the Blacksmith last week and he kindly silver-plated my hair. Why, Harry, your eyes are like emeralds!"  
  
"I know! I went to the jewellers last week, and he kindly implanted gems where my irises should be. I'm actually blind."  
  
Getting bored of all the small talk, they decided to shag. Afterwards, they fell asleep in each other's arms.  
  
When they woke up the next morning, they realised that they'd overslept. Luckily, Dobby showed up just on time and was able to sneak Draco out of the dormitory and back to his own house. To say thank you, Harry bought Dobby lots of socks. They were all odd, of course.   
  
When Ron found out, he was very angry, but Hermione understood instantly and told Ron that Draco was nice really.  
  
"He's not!" Ron sulked.  
  
"Yes he is. Due to his hard childhood where he couldn't watch muggle T.V. and the beatings his father gave him, Draco hated everyone. All he really wanted was a friend. Now he is nice."  
  
"Oh, I get it! I'll go and have a game of chess with him. That will act as his initiation into the Gryffindor World (tm)!"  
  
One day, about six months later, Draco walked up to Harry in the Great Hall.  
  
"We have to break up."  
  
"But why?!" wailed Harry.  
  
"Because the author is at a dead end, and needs to further the plot!"  
  
"Oh, al right," Harry said dejectedly.  
  
For the rest of the year, he was very depressed. He really missed Draco. He got very thin, and the emeralds fell out of his eyes, he had to replace them with olives. Draco's sliver-plating was beginning to flake and his eyes stayed normal, really...   
  
At the end of the year, they realised how silly they were being, and got back together. Harry proposed to Draco and they got married by Hogwarts Lake. After the exams, which they both passed with better grades than Hermione, even though they had been shagging rather that revising, they bought a big mansion and found a special way to have children who they gave absurd names.  
  
When Emerald-Olive-Julie-Patchouli, their daughter, and Frederiquo-Bob III, their son, started Hogwarts, everyone told them that they looked just like their daddies. Everyone lived Happily Ever After (c).  
  
THE END  
  
  
A/N: Yes, I know. I even scared myself with that one. 


End file.
